How to raise a child without resorting to punishment?

Imagine the situation: you had a hard day at work, your boss made unreasonable claims, and your colleagues behaved rudely. In addition, you had a fight with your mother. You dream about the moment when you get home and be able to tell your loved one about the stress you’ve been through. You expect that he will listen to you and comfort you, show compassion and affection. And so you walk into the apartment, and your partner asks you how your day was. In response, you throw your bag on the floor and vent your frustration with a scream. Your partner rushes to you, but instead of the hug you were hoping for, he starts to make his own complaints to you: “How dare you throw your bag and yell at me! Go to your room and don’t leave it for the next hour. When you calm down, you can talk to me again.”

How would you feel in such a situation? Most likely, these circumstances would not have lifted your spirits or added motivation to behave better next time. Now think about what a child experiences when he or she is punished because of a loss of self-control.

Some experts believe that refusing to communicate with your child at times of strong negative emotions is not the most effective method of parenting. In their opinion, this approach ignores the feelings behind such actions. It does not teach proper behavior, but only shows that parents prefer to communicate with children only when they are in a good mood. As a result, this leads to the fact that the child begins to hide their true feelings, afraid to show emotions they may not like in front of their parents. Perhaps the most important negative consequence of such a situation is the loss of communication between you and your child.

If you are among those parents who doubt the effectiveness of popular methods of parenting discipline, here are 4 alternative strategies that can strengthen relationships with your child, as well as change his behavior for the better.

Reconsider your expectations.
Many parents take discipline because they do not have realistic expectations for their child’s behavior. A toddler is almost as incapable of stopping a tantrum as learning to drive. His brain has simply not reached the level of development that allows adults to consciously cope with various emotions. For example, children often become naughty when a new baby enters the house. The reason is that they have to struggle with feelings of resentment because they have lost some of their parents’ attention. They cannot express these emotions in words, so they show them through their behavior. Children are not little adults. You can’t expect them to have the same level of awareness and restraint as the older generation. So lower the bar, because the child does not yet have complete control over his or her emotional reactions.
Demonstrate Attention
In most cases, the cause of bad behavior in children is the lack of proper attention from parents. A child who does not feel the love of adults, trying to prove that he and his feelings matter. So your task is to raise his self-esteem and help him feel better about himself. Naturally, encouragement should not be excessive. For example, you can say, “I don’t like your behavior, but I love you and want to help you calm down.
Be a good example
Adults often demand much more from children than they do from themselves. But it’s important to remember that it’s their parents who have the biggest influence on children. If your child often yells and throws tantrums, think about where they might have learned such reactions. Perhaps you should be better at controlling your own emotions and not overreacting. The best parenting strategy is to become what you want your children to be. If your dream is to raise a balanced, kind and loving person, you need to become the appropriate role model and role model.

In most cases, the cause of poor behavior in children is the lack of proper parental attention. A child who does not feel the love of adults is trying to prove that he and his feelings matter.

Be creative.
When a child is angry or upset, he needs time to calm down. However, once his emotions have returned to normal, don’t give him a moral lecture. Approach the problem creatively. For example, make up and tell your child a story in which the main character is struggling with negative emotions. Role-playing is another great way to play out the situation and show children the right behaviors. Creativity is an effective way for many people to deal with stress. Encourage your child to release accumulated emotions through drawing or dancing.